A couple days ago my friend Ryan talked me into playing Project Gotham Racing 2 over Xbox Live. I hadn't played the game in 5 years, but since Microsoft is shutting down the servers for all Xbox 1 games I felt compelled to play it one last time. All the time playing it I stated how much better Toca Race Driver 2 was, but this blog entry is to not debate what Xbox game was better, but rather what happened when I played the game and heard one song.
Music has a mysterious effect on me and when I heard this particular song from PGR2 it took me back in time. The memories that flashed from it were a shock and almost overwhelming. The problem is I can recall every song I've ever heard. Granted, I may not know the words because in a lot of songs I can't heard the words over the instruments, but the tune is enough. This one song I heard though was the first song I wrote to.
To assist in my writing I listen to music. The majority of "Finding Kansas" was written to the classical music that was on Gran Turismo 4, but the PGR 2 song had the lines, "You don't mean anything to me". I realize how false that was, to me, as I wrote the chapters Emily and Linda, but it helped get the emotions out.
Going back to a couple nights ago I was taken back to that February night in 2005 when I first started to write. For me, hearing the song in the present, I had a hard time realizing what year it was. All the emotions that poured out onto my keyboard when I firs wrote was reawakened. This got me thinking about other examples and it sort of scares me just how much power music has.
I think we all have this ability for a song to take us back to a different time, but is it common to become so overwhelmed because it's like that different time is in the now? Every song I heard at the VooDoo Lounge at the Rio hotel in Las Vegas is remembered, and every time I hear one of them I am instantly right back there at the SKUSA SuperNats.
I am very private about what songs I like. I will not tell you what songs I heard in Vegas, or what songs I write to now, or even what tracks of classical music I preferred on Gran Turismo 4. If I do, in my mind, it will be as if you know everything about me. Music is remembered more so than any other sense for me, and while corrupt politicians have skeletons in the closet, I have music hidden away, and I can tell you, I fear you knowing my music more so than the politician fears his skeletons.