It's that day again. Yes, it's that day of year when I can prove just how big of a non-conformist I am. Today is Saint Patrick's Day and for as far back as I can remember I have been confused, and sometimes scared, of this day.
In 1st grade, when it was March 16th, the teacher said that "Tomorrow is a holiday". Holiday? So that means no school, right? Whilst I'm sure the teaching staff would have loved that, this holiday had no merit to warrant a closure of school.
So why is it a holiday? On top of that, why did the teacher ask everyone to wear green? I was instantly hostile to that idea because I don't understand; Why do I have to wear green? On top of that what authority on this Earth gave people the right to pinch someone who isn't wearing green?
As I got older and became more fierce with my, "DON'T PINCH ME!" on Saint Patrick's Day I began to understand that today is about celebrating the Irish. That's great, but why do I have to wear green? I am not Irish (I don't think), never been to Ireland (I want to though), and hate to be told what color to wear.
Today I still don't know what today represents. If it's supposed to celebrate the Irish why don't we have a holiday for every country? According to Wikipedia there are 241 countries that qualify under the International Organization for Standardization so we could have a special holiday at least every other day. Think about how fun that would be! When it comes time for Sir Ernest Shackleton Day celebrating Antarctica everyone can wear tuxedos in honor of the penguins and eat ice chips all day.
Perhaps celebrating every country might hinder productivity, but I still just don't get the big deal about today. While some towns might dye their rivers or canals green, and some people will be celebrating at a pub, I will continue my silent protest in my black pants and reddish/purplish shirt without a trace of green on me.
(Please note that I don't have anything against the Irish, the color green, or penguins. This is one of two clothing protests each year, the next one will be on October 31st. You'll just have to wait until Halloween to hear that story.)