The weather was amazing today and the on track action at the SKUSA Summer Nationals in Shawano, Wisconsin was intense, yet I am disappointed.
I said last week that perfection is a virtue, and today we had perfection on track. That's great, it truly is, but my goal today was to get a book to Jamie McMurray and once again I failed it that effort.
At one point in time I was walking side-by-side with Jamie and all I had to do was say something. I've seen him be very open with anyone who has approached him. Surely he would have a second for someone on the autism spectrum, right? I don't know and that is the problem. I'm afraid I'll offend him some how.
This is the problem I always have. I know I am able to talk. I know I can hold a conversation, but I know I struggle at initiating. What's more is that I am fully aware of the issue and am still unable to simply conquer the unknown.
I have one day left. Jamie's class is the last class tomorrow so I know he will still be on-site at the end. I have created a worst case scenario guarantee way to get him a book. One, I am going to sign the book to him tonight. That way I either get him the book or am stuck with an already autographed book to a person and most people don't want a book signed to someone else.
Tomorrow is the day. Will I have success, or will this block, this annoying wall that hinders me in initiating a conversation over power me?