Beside my bed I have an alarm clock. I don't so much use it now for an alarm as that is what my phone is for, but it is still there so I can open my eyes and know how long I have left before I must get up. While this is probably normal, this entry is not about the fact that I have an alarm clock, but rather the alarm clock itself.
I have a major issue with my alarm clock. It buzzes. The noise it makes is annoying and has been known to prevent me from going to sleep. How long has it been buzzing? Well, um, the honest answer is 2005! Truly, even though the buzz is obnoxious. There are ways to make it stop and I have been known to slam in on my nightstand, stand it on its end, and adjust it to the perfect angle to make the buzzing cease.
So, if I have been annoyed at my clock since 2005 why haven't I done anything about it? There is no one easy answer to this and the answer I do attribute to the autism spectrum. First, I have had that alarm clock for a very long time. In fact, I don't think I have ever had a different alarm clock. Why would I want a new one when it is the only one I know. Sure, some mornings I may wake up groggy, and some nights I may need to slam it on the nightstand several times (this method truly works) to get it to stop, but I have had it forever.
I used to see my alarm clock as the enemy back in grade school. It was a game and my clock was known, only to myself, as "The Eliminator." I knew if I could fend my parents off from getting me up (by having various forms of illnesses that may or may not have been there i.e. headache, stomach ache) and the clock got to 7:30 or later school would be eliminated. If I got up the clock would win and I would be eliminated. With such good memories why would I want a new clock?
I must admit I have thought about getting a new clock, but up until this year I never really have the means to do so. This year I do, but when I think about it I get overwhelmed. Overwhelmed you ask? Yes, because if I wanted a new clock where would I go to get one? I have no idea and wouldn't even be able to take an educated guess as to where alarm clocks are sold. A store you say? But which store, what isle, what company? This leads me to an interesting point.
My anxiety and sense of being lost regarding where to buy an alarm clock is quite similar to the same fear I had on Saturday and being on that panel with Temple Grandin. What I mean is I have never done it. Just as I didn't know how to act on a panel and where to sit so to I don't know where to look for an alarm clock.
Anytime there is something new it is scary because so much processing has to be done. I am so thankful that, as a child, I did so many things because the experiences I have had has minimized the amount of new things that enter my world. However, there's one thing I was never taught and that is regarding alarm clocks. Even if I do know where to get one I am unsure if I want a new one. Sure it creates this hideous electrical buzzing noise, but it also has been with me for over 15 years, and above else it is my arch-nemesis in life as it was, and always will be, "The Eliminator"