Last night I spent about 30 minutes just staring out into the vast expanse that is Las Vegas. My room at the Rio is on the 27th floor and the view is stellar to say the least.
My eyes were fixated on anything in particular as my eyes darted from the In N’ Out Burger
(I’ve never ate there) to the endless throngs of taxi cabs that drive by the hotel and road. I saw many planes taking people away from this neon oasis, and many planes that are bringing people to this place. The lights of civilization extend to the horizon on the West and all in all it was a great panoramic view of life in motion.
I don’t know why I got so deep in thought while watching the world go by. Yesterday was a long day and was tolling on my body and mind. This is the SKUSA SuperNats and is completely expected. In fact, this is mild compared to some past experiences.
Perhaps I got lost in thought because so much has happened in my life since the 2009 SuperNats. In all reality this race for the past three years has been a turning point in my life. The day I flew home in 2008 my book was released, last year I got word that I would do some part time work for TouchPoint and this year, well, what is down the road may be exciting but I won’t go into that yet until I know it to be true. In any event so much has occurred this year that I can’t believe how far I have come.
As far as I have come I still have this sense of wonder of what life is like “out there”. I think this is what I truly was thinking while I stared out into the bright night. While I know I have done some really neat things in my life I still wonder what it is like to live life without these chains that hold me back in establishing the bonds I see other people make so easily.
I heard at least a dozen compliments on my flagging last night and I have learned to, somewhat, take a compliment. I used to say, “It’s nothing… I do it all the time… it’s nothing special” and now I simply smile, look down, and say “thank you”. One person told me, “I’ve never seen a flagman like you; you look like you are having fun!” Why is this? The answer is simple; it’s because I am! This is everything to me. I may not be part of that busy world I watched last night and socially I may be somewhat isolated, but the things I enjoy I enjoy to the highest possible limit.
There may be times like last night that I wonder what it is like to be part of the social world. Two nights ago I was behind several guys in the buffet line that are on vacation from California and heard their various stories as the line moved painfully slow. I was saddened that I never had a group of friends like these people seemed to be, but in my spying on the world from 27 stories up I realized I would not trade what I have and who I am for anything. Yes, I will get down at times and I will wonder what life is like on your side of the wall, but at the end of the day I love who I am. I know I have made it to this level of flagging because of my Asperger Syndrome. I know my gift of writing is because of it as well. When I get down on myself in the future for not being “out there” I hope I can remember this post and this event and focus on who I am rather than what I am not. Speaking of who I am, it’s time to get the day started on track!