I started the week with sleep issues and still am having trouble going to sleep, but thankfully I haven't seen 4AM come and go since early Monday morning. These issues though led to my article yesterday and I have been thinking about my issues with sleep and there is certainly a correlation between sleep issues and writing explosions.
There is one thing I wanted to cover that I did not on Monday regarding sleep. I talked in length about not being able to go to sleep, but that's only half the story. What also is difficult is waking up once sleep is achieved. Yesterday's story was inspired by a dream I had in the time between presses of the "snooze" button. This is quite common for me when I am in the midst of sleep issues and it is difficult to simply wake up. When I do wake up from this state it feels wrong. By wrong I mean it feels as if there is a vale over me that dampens everything and I have difficulty functioning.
This vail of sorts will last all morning (like now) and much of the afternoon. Then a funny thing happens around four or five in the afternoon. I say funny because it works like a schedule that can't be changed. After spending most the day struggling to make sense of everything and trying hard to stay awake I wake up. Now when I say wake up I mean WAKE UP! with all the energy that one could have.
It is this delayed burst of energy that creates the issues later on at night. What I find interesting about this sudden burst is it happens regardless of what time I woke up and also regardless of how many hours of sleep I get. Saturday into Sunday I got four hours of sleep and woke up at 6AM. I was sluggish all day Sunday up until 5PM when that sudden burst of awakeness hit. I did not want that burst and it was more of a mental burst because my body truly was tired. The end result was sleep was not acquired until 4AM even though I was tired.
This is the annoying aspect of this. I may be tired, I may be so tired that my muscles hurt and everything seems funny because my mental state is to the point of finding everything funny (if you haven't been in this super tired state you may not know what I am talking about) , but nonetheless my mind is going strong.
This sleep issue cycle I have is a self-contained cyclone that feeds upon itself. Can't go to sleep then can't wake up then mind gets too awake and can't sleep... What causes this? I have no idea but there is certainly something going on in the subconscious because that's where I write from and all my major concepts and best writings stem from this. So is it bad? I don't know but I can say it is annoying. The one thing I do want to say is that it isn't a choice. I don't think, "Hey, wouldn't it be fun if my mind goes racing tonight and I can't sleep?" There is no "off" switch to a racing mind. If you have a child on the spectrum that ever falls into this sleep issue cycle try not to get angry at the child. Trust me when I say that I am as aggravated at it as anyone else could be. If you get angry then the child may try harder to sleep and then start to worry that if sleep isn't achieved you may become angrier and that feeds to the thought frenzy and sleep becomes that much harder.
I am hoping tonight will be the night that I can lay down and have zero issues. I worry though because I have that vail currently. If it stays like this all day I will be fine, but what will happen at 5 o'clock? Will I get a sudden burst? Also, I have a presentation tonight at a Lions Club so I will have that burst of energy for that, but this could be good because I get exhausted after talking, even if it's just for 10-15 minutes. I guess I could worry about it now or just wait to see what happens this evening... I guess I'll worry about it now.