Once again the trial I was a juror on gets more air time today, but instead of going on and on about how angry I am I will use this experience to point out what happens when the mind is only thinking about one topic.
I used to have these issues all the time when I was in school and if there was a negative situation with a classmate, or a test that had me worried, I would experience the same sort of fogginess I am experiencing now.
What is this fogginess? For one I feel run down. Each night this week I have been asleep by 9 and have slept until 7. That's 10 hours and I can usually go our or five days with 6 or less before I feel exhausted. I may have gotten those ten for the past three nights but there is no feeling of replenishment. I feel drowsy and absent from my surroundings.
Also, I have been spacially challenged the past couple days. Yesterday I nearly spilled a 2 litre bottle of soda, I did spill a glass of milk, and getting out of a car I slammed my right knee into the corner of the door (this hurt and a lot and still hurts).
I am here but my mind is elsewhere. I haven't had this feeling in quite some time and have forgotten just how powerful this is. It is a great example of how one event can have a lasting effect though. I wish there was a quick "think of something else" button I could press to get me off this one-way street thinking mentality. It doesn't work that way and eventually, hopefully, my mind will go back to not being angry and bitter over the results on Tuesday. Until then I will probably continue to struggle and any glass that has liquid in it is in danger of being knocked over. Any door frame I pass while walking is a hazard as I may walk with full force into it because I am simply not here and am deep in thought.
It is in these times of deep thought, or reflection, that I am prone to making the biggest errors be it socially or physically. Decision making seems to be lessened because the mental resources are being used elsewhere. Think of the mind as a computer and during these times, like the one I am in now, the computer is putting all the computing power into one thing. Now, if you wanted to use a web browser it is going to run sluggish because the power just isn't there to run it smoothly.
I used to think these events of thought would last forever which compounded the issue. I know this state will not last forever, but I am waiting for the fog to lift. The effects of this trial have led to many errors and I don't want to clean up any glasses of milk, or bang my knee into a door, or walk seemingly willingly into a door frame (only if you could see this when it happens). Perhaps watching the first race of the year on television, the 24 Hours of Daytona, will get my mind off the trial.