I got my wish and it seems kind of strange now. Over the course of my blog I have had many stories regarding my daily run to the grocery store and the small, or sometimes large, dramas and anxiety that have played out there.
So what did I get that I wished for? From my earliest mentions of the grocery store on my blog I have talked about my love of the self checkout aisle. I still love it, but somewhere along the line I mentioned that the employee that works it always said, "Have a nice day." or something along those lines when I was done.
When it comes to a line, such as "have a nice day." I truly don't know how to respond. I mean, when this line is said I am in movement towards the door so do I stop and say something along those lines back? Do I even acknowledge it? Typically I would not acknowledge it and I would walk even faster to the door. So, somewhere on my 270+ blog posts, I stated I wished there would be no interaction. I got my wish.
I doubt that this grocery chain has ever read my blog, but I am now invisible as I go through the self checkout aisle. I have been wanting to write this for over a month now, but each day I think to myself that the next day, yes the next day they will acknowledge me with a nice day comment.
A month has come and gone and still there have been no comments. This was supposed to be my dream as now I can get in and get out without any interaction, but each day I feel like something is missing. It is weird to get exactly what I wanted and have the emotions be nothing like I expected.
If anything the tension seems greater now. "Will today be the day I get spoken to again?" is the question I always am asking myself 1,000 times each day I walk in. After I get beating that question to death I get to the next question, "Well, what will I do if they do talk to me?"
I don't know how I can word this without sounding like nothing will satisfy me. I mean I complain when I get spoken to, and when it quits I feel like something is missing. Yes, I realize this.
Maybe this example is a prime example of Asperger Syndrome. By that I mean I yearn for solitude yet I wonder what normal interactions are like. Being stuck in the middle like this is highly confusing and frustrating.
I am glad I can find humor in a situation like this. While I may say this is frustrating and confusing I see it as a challenge. In the scheme of my day this is a three minute ordeal. Thankfully I am able to describe this situation because the framework of this example may be like much deeper situations for others.
What will Monday bring? I don't know and I am already wondering if I will get in and out invisibly, or if my existence will be proven by some for of interaction.