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Friday, May 6, 2011

Thoughts

Today is a day of very mixed emotions. On one hand I had happy to have survived the college classroom yesterday, and on another hand I am happy to get to the USAC .25 midget race later this afternoon, and yet on even another hand I know that this trip, this long trip of autism awareness raising that began on March 31st, is winding down.

Another aspect that is difficult is saying goodbye. All in April I traveled alone and stayed alone. Personal interactions were left only to be done at presentations. Since Monday, however, I have stayed at a professor's house and have had many conversations. In fact, on Tuesday night, we went indoor kart racing. Last night I played Monopoly with his kids. So while April was a month of being alone, this month has started with the complete opposite.

There's been something about this trip that I know will be with me for a wile. Because of this I am not looking forward to it coming to an end. Saying goodbye is something I do coldly, yet while I may have a cold exterior my emotions are always spiraling in every which way.

I know on this trip, as well as the trips that preceded this in April, I have grown. The fears of new places is all but gone and I am entering towns, cities, and airports unafraid. As great as that is I still have the same issues of speaking up for myself, and getting attached to the places I go, but all in all I wouldn't have it any other way. In a few hours I am going to have to say goodbye to the family I have stayed with, but the journey must continue.

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