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Monday, June 27, 2011

Remembering What Was

This will be a big week for me in terms of making an exciting announcement on my blog regarding my book. I've known about this for a while, but have not made it public on here but I will be able to do it sometime this week.

Anyway, because of this announcement, I was remembering what was before my book yesterday. I thought back to the times I first sat down and put words and emotions on paper, or rather computer screen, for the first time. Never, NEVER, could I have imagined my life would take the turns that it has. If you had told me I'd be a published author on that first night I would have said, "I'm not good enough to be published." If you would have told me I'd turn into a public speaker I would have said, "Why are you telling me such things that could never happen?"

What I didn't think, or imagine, could happen has. I've received many comments from my three hour presentation last Thursday and I still am in shock from the positiveness of them. As I have said many times, I don't know what I do as I just state my story and experiences. It is impossible for me to understand that people get anything meaningful from it. That being said I know I am blind to those sort of things so as long as a stage is provided I will keep telling my story.

Another thing that made me remember back to the days when I was just starting to write was my video game marathon Friday night into Saturday. Before working at TouchPoint I would often be up until 4 or 5AM playing whatever racing game was the "in" game at that point in time. I often thing back to all those nights and I wonder how I got from there to here. Every so often on the weekend, when I have a weekend at home, I enjoy having one night like I had this weekend. So often, back then, I would wonder what was to come. I knew my life couldn't stay that way forever. There had to be something more, but what? Each night when I went to sleep I would have those thoughts, and again, I knew something had to change but I never could have imagined the wonderful turns it has taken.

The main reason I enjoy a late night gaming marathon, besides winning the playoffs on EA's NHL 11in OT, is that I feel we can often lose track of who we are. What do I mean by this? To know who we truly are today we have to remember who we were. I mean, how can one gauge growth unless they are willing to remember what used to be? By staying up that late I remember all the nights I sat down and created concepts, and wrote my story. But I also remember the anticipation, the angst, and the wondering of what was going to happen. By feeling those emotions of old I know I have grown, but it is in those emotions of old that created who I am today. It was those nights of looking out the window in pure wonder pondering who I am and what was out there in the world and it was those thoughts that spurred on who I have become today.

Of course, all this didn't happen overnight and was a multi-year process. The process is still continuing and I'll tell you about the next exciting step later this week.

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