I slept almost 14 hours but I feel as if I haven't slept in days and I am hungry but I don't want to eat. This is what I woke up to this morning and still I am sluggish.
What's going on? I think it is a combo of things. First, I think this is some time lapse from the weekend and primarily last Friday's travel ordeal. Many times in my life an event will happen and it isn't until a few days, or sometimes a week later that I get a strong physical reaction to the event.
Also, my dad is having a 2nd surgery on his shoulder today. I believe the 1st surgery he had was when I was out of town giving presentations so it was like it didn't happen in my mind because I wasn't home. I am home this time and the surgery was on my mind last night which resulted in an entire night of highly realistic dreams.
I usually have dreams I remember, but it is when I have something on the mind, or am stressed, that I get dreams that are as vivid as day.
How long does this feeling last? It varies and if I push myself on the day I feel like this it usually adds another day. The more that my mind does the less recovery it gets, I guess. It is an awful feeling though and it feels just like when, after my concussion in 2005, the times I'd be up for 30+ hours straight.
The point I want to make in this post is that sometimes our reactions come well after the fact. Yes, I had a moderate reaction at the airport last Friday, but it is now six days later and it is now I am feeling the true effects. Perhaps this is because I was on the go up until now and my body just now is able to finally soak everything in and deal with the emotions that have been standing in the queue.
It has been a long time since I have felt like this, but as per what I usually say, and I'll say it again, in the end I am glad to feel this because it is just a reminder of the challenges. I used to feel like this almost everyday before I started working. Every night was a restless sleep and each day was a day without energy. If what used to happen happens today I will wake up, but sadly it will be around 6 or 7 in the evening. This won't be good as I have a presentation at the Police Academy tomorrow at 8AM and will need to get to sleep... it could be an interesting morning for me tomorrow.