Monday, August 29, 2011
A Slight Change of Plans
Somewhere after Buffalo my dad got me on a flight out of Indy on Sunday so that drama was over. The only thing now was to watch the world go by as hour after clicked by on the 16 hour van ride.
My emotions were erratic and extreme in this ride as the events of the past week caught up with me. I also have not slept much in the past week-and-a-half (averaging 4 hours a night) and this wasn’t helping the situation. What were these emotions? I got really angry with myself for the shortcomings I have and the remembrances of all the times I am socially awkward and the events from the bowling alley last week were thought of again. In fact, I had forgotten about it until I saw a bowling alley off an exit. I once again fell into the trap of, “Why can’t I just be normal?” then, as fate would have it, I saw billboard from an autism agency in whatever town we were passing through that said, “1 in 110 kids will have autism. Do you know the signs?”
“The signs?” I said aloud, just loud enough that I was the only one who knew I said anything. I did ask it in a form of a question as once again, as usual, I remembered that the challenges I have faced are due to autism. I can’t hate myself all I want, but it wasn’t that I failed, it was that there truly is a challenge I face that normal people do not; after thinking that I went back to smiling and enjoying the adventure.
As much as I was enjoying the adventure, I began hating it as we passed through Columbus, Ohio as I was getting to the point of being so tired I was feeling queasy. The others slept, but I can’t sleep in a moving vehicle so I was stuck being awake watching the nighttime world pass by.
At 4:00AM we arrived in Indianapolis. We had to make a stop at the airport where all the vehicles were parked and after being taken to my sister’s house by Rick and Denise I walked in at 5:00AM.
Sleep came quickly and I was looking forward to sleeping all the way to 4PM as it was planned that Rick would pick me up at 5 to take me to the airport. As Ryan said, via a text message even before I left Saint Louis, “This trip is destined for failure” that saying kept true as at 10:30 Ginger, my sister’s cat, was in need of some serious attention and to get it she started doing the cat wake-up call with some slaps of her paw to my face. As tired as I was I was powerless to this kitty wake-up call.