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Friday, October 7, 2011

The First Night

It's now official! Last night I spent the first night at my new place. During the afternoon I brought a good portion of my non-furniture items and then went back to the old home.

Going back after being in the midst of the move was weird. My back room, the room that I have spent the majority of my 8 years there as well as the room I started to write in, was starting to look barren, or at least not what I was used to. This saddened me.

I've wanted this move to be as fast as possible just for that very reason. I don't like change, but if I don't see the change and am just thrust into the new place, well, last time I moved it was easier that way. I don't think this would work for everyone, but this is what I like because I get caught up in the small things and the places where items are and to see it moved is like destroying that memory.

I ate dinner there last night and afterwards I planned on going up to the new place. My dad was unaware of this, although I thought he knew because I knew (I think therefore you should know) and then I was ready. I wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything so I went to the basement, where my room is, to make sure.

I slowly descended the stairs and saw my room, which was pretty much still intact minus the sheets from my bed and clothes, and thought of all the nights I went to bed and wondered what was going to ever become of me. So many times I went to bed angry at the world, and now I was there about to move on to a place of my own which was something I never imagined would happen.

My eyes went around my room and suddenly there was a flood of memories. I saw Missy the Maltese's (1988-2003) water bowl she drank out of and Siam the Cat's (1992-2009) chair his food was on. Memories were everywhere and I was about to leave them behind.

What might have only been 30 seconds seemed like a lifetime, well, at least 8 years of a lifetime as I thought back to all the things and items that were in my environment. Had I stayed any longer I might have just stayed as self-doubt was creeping in.

Thankfully, I got out with my self-confidence in check and then with a speech of encouragement from my dad I was out the door headed to the new place.

This morning I woke up, confused, wondering where I was. I thought back to New York City and realized this wasn't a hotel. There was light which at my old place no light reached my room (I liked it that way). Then I pieced the puzzle together and remembered I was home, or at least in the place I now call home. With that realized I let out a big smile, and then fell back to sleep and overslept by 30 minutes and did the whole thing over again and smiled once more.

5 comments:

  1. Aaron,thank you. I have tears reading this blog, as it so makes me think of the future for my son, Christian. He is 15. Home with his parents, is his place of comfort and where he can be himself. We, as parents, try to imagine that day when Christian moves to his own home. Hard to imagine but reading your blog, gives me hope. Thank you, again. God bless.

    Esther

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  2. lovely story aaron
    my two children who are 7 and 6 both have aspergers i often wonder how they will cope with life when they are older, thank you for sharing your story it gives me hope .
    thank you
    toni campbell

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  3. There has been no other day in the 28+ years of Aaron Likens life that I have been prouder of him than today. What he has accomplished in this one act is the culmination of years of suffering, courage, and hope. In early 2003, he and I had talked about where he would live when his mother moved from St. Louis. I told him I would get him an apartment close to me and his step-mother, Mary.

    "Dad," he said. "If you do that I will die. I can't make it on my own." Maybe he couldn't in 2003, but this isn't 2003 anymore. He's not going to die. He's just beginning to live. And, he will never be on his own for God will carry him in his arms to a future brighter than the sun.

    When he walked out of my house on Thursday evening I told him, , “God’s blessing to you my soon as you embark on the next stage of the journey that is your life.”

    He has been my son, my friend, and my inspiration. I have invested my life in his. Thursday night came the return on my investment. Aaron walked out into the world and the world better get ready. Aaron Likens is going to change the world.

    "Without understanding there is no hope." Aaron Likens

    God bless you Aaron.

    Love, DAD

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  4. I am so proud of you and thank you for what you have taught me through your writings and being with and knowing you. I love you and have tears as well. I remember the last time you left "our" house and I moved. It is always hard to move but very soon "it" does become Home and you wonder how you ever lived someplace else.

    Mum : -)

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  5. I'm so proud of you Aaron! Seeing how you can be happy with moving, even when having trouble with the change, makes me think that I can do that too. :)
    On to the future! ^_^

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