It's now official! Last night I spent the first night at my new place. During the afternoon I brought a good portion of my non-furniture items and then went back to the old home.
Going back after being in the midst of the move was weird. My back room, the room that I have spent the majority of my 8 years there as well as the room I started to write in, was starting to look barren, or at least not what I was used to. This saddened me.
I've wanted this move to be as fast as possible just for that very reason. I don't like change, but if I don't see the change and am just thrust into the new place, well, last time I moved it was easier that way. I don't think this would work for everyone, but this is what I like because I get caught up in the small things and the places where items are and to see it moved is like destroying that memory.
I ate dinner there last night and afterwards I planned on going up to the new place. My dad was unaware of this, although I thought he knew because I knew (I think therefore you should know) and then I was ready. I wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything so I went to the basement, where my room is, to make sure.
I slowly descended the stairs and saw my room, which was pretty much still intact minus the sheets from my bed and clothes, and thought of all the nights I went to bed and wondered what was going to ever become of me. So many times I went to bed angry at the world, and now I was there about to move on to a place of my own which was something I never imagined would happen.
My eyes went around my room and suddenly there was a flood of memories. I saw Missy the Maltese's (1988-2003) water bowl she drank out of and Siam the Cat's (1992-2009) chair his food was on. Memories were everywhere and I was about to leave them behind.
What might have only been 30 seconds seemed like a lifetime, well, at least 8 years of a lifetime as I thought back to all the things and items that were in my environment. Had I stayed any longer I might have just stayed as self-doubt was creeping in.
Thankfully, I got out with my self-confidence in check and then with a speech of encouragement from my dad I was out the door headed to the new place.
This morning I woke up, confused, wondering where I was. I thought back to New York City and realized this wasn't a hotel. There was light which at my old place no light reached my room (I liked it that way). Then I pieced the puzzle together and remembered I was home, or at least in the place I now call home. With that realized I let out a big smile, and then fell back to sleep and overslept by 30 minutes and did the whole thing over again and smiled once more.