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Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Effects of Now (and a tree that bears no relevance to the 1st topic)

This year has been a non-stop roller coaster of events and the past month-and-a-half have been rather difficult. Add on top of that the fact that the rerelease of Finding Kansas (you can preorder today by clicking the new book cover on the right side!) is just four months four days away and the amount of pressure I'm feeling is up there.

With that being said, you may think this is bad for me. While I have be somewhat depressed and sometimes in a snappy mood, the effects are entirely awful. Take for instance the past two days on this blog. The last two post may have been my best two-day post combo ever. The structure of those two posts came during a real dark time on Monday.

To be honest, my book was written from the depths of sadness. When I feel bad the good happens. Heck, all this year it's been bad event after bad event (two flat tires come to mind as well as jury duty and the fan favorite of the 100 gate dash) but each time I write a work of art.

However, the pressure the pressure I'm feeling now is new and different. It's always on my mind. Will my book make it's way into people's homes? Will people know my story and understand the spectrum just a bit more? This question is asked in my mind 10,000 times a day and because of that my processing ability for other things is much lower than it used to be.

Because of that, I am becoming somewhat forgetful. I usually won't forget anything, but in just the past two weeks or so I've had a string of things forgotten. On Sunday, leaving my aunt's place in Virginia, I forgot my cell phone charger. I told myself not to forget it and a few minutes later I forgot it. Then, on the next day, I was leaving my house to go to the bank and then bowling and I got halfway to the bank, about 13 minutes from home, only to realize I had to ask a very scary question, "Um, where's my wallet?" It was the first time in my life that I forgot my wallet. I don't forget things and am obsessive at all times making sure I have my phone, keys, and wallet.

I also am forgetting that I am in possession of something that isn't mine" Rob's HDMI cable that he left at my new home. I have a DVD of photos he took while in America and I need to send those two items to him and I have forgotten each and every day. By the time I get home after work I am at a point of having no energy to go back out. Each time I arrive home I get angry because I said I'd send it a month ago and yet there it still sits at my place and with each day prior to today I forgot it yet again. Sorry Rob, it will get sent before 2013, I promise.

So yeah, those are the effects of now. I 'm glad I can turn frustration and sadness into these works of writing art, but I do know the pressure I feel right now is higher than ever because I am not one to forget things. One person told me, "Well, that's just called getting old" but I refuse to believe that this begins at the age of 28... right? RIGHT?!?!

So, onto a totally unrelated topic, last night was the annual Festival of Trees gala which benefits TouchPoint. I'm not sure the final total raised, but it was a fantastic total. Anyway, halfway through the evening I was alerted to the fact that there was a tree there that might as well have had my name on it. One of the things of the evening is that there are items which can be bid on in a silent auction, and this tree did truly appear to have been custom made for me. I placed a bid, and won, and this following picture needs no more words:


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