The entire ride yesterday from Vegas to San Fransisco was filled with deep thought as I thought of everything I wrote in yesterday's blog. How is it that anything like that [the video mentioned in yesterday's blog] can happen? I mean, the year is 2012 and haven't we moved onward to a better place where acceptance is the norm?
I went through a phase in the middle 2000's that I believed, "People are mean, evil, and unpredictable therefore I want nothing to do with people." Over the course of the years I believed it wasn't people, but just a "few." Now imagine what would have happened to me during that time if a similar situation had happened to me. Would I have realized that the vast majority of society wasn't simply mean or out to get me? I would say probably not.
The autism spectrum is such a unique thing because to the uninitiated they may think that we 1. have no emotions 2. don't care and 3. aren't listening. All those are false and yes, I did say unique, and that's because the reactions around us mean so much.
Society can do so much good, or so much harm to those on the spectrum. A bad experience isn't simply forgotten, at least in my life, and all it takes is one bad experience for the mind to think, "Okay, since I went out and people were mean this means people will always be mean." If you were powerless to defend yourself and powerless to ask for help you can see why a person on the spectrum would put up a huge defense to avoid such situations.
I've realized if I continue writing I will write a mirror post to yesterday's and I don't like repeating myself. However, I feel so much bubbling anger and passion write now. I want to do more but I don't know how. Yes, I realize I'm in the midst of this nationwide tour (presentation in San Fransisco tomorrow) but I want my voice to be louder, my concepts clearer and all in all I want to do more despite the fact that I don't know how to do more. My passion to raise the awareness, understanding, and acceptance of autism is about as personal as a passion comes. I don't want to sit back and watch the world go by idly. The odd thing is is the fact that I am on this tour and yet I feel as if I need to more. As you can see my thoughts are going around in circles.
Since I am going around in circles I best end this post year before you get 20 paragraphs all saying the same thing.