For the first time in well over two months I have a day off. It feels weird to be honest as there is no 14 hour drive, no audience to speak to, and no office to move into (well, there is but that happens tomorrow.) So with the day to myself I am giving my step-brother the birthday gift of a round of golf.
Is today really a day off for me though? The past two days was the Saint Louis Autism Conference and on the first day Dr. John Constintino presented and he said something that I've felt and probably mentioned on here is some blog post at some time, but he said something like this that, "no matter how much we do it just never really feels like we do enough."
Those words haunted me because that is exactly how I feel. Someone once asked me, "What more could you do Aaron?" and to that I had no answer. I thought that maybe my presentation could be better, maybe I could figure out new concepts to describe the spectrum, maybe I could... could... I don't know.
After yesterday, if I ever get a chance for a conversation with him again, I have some new questions as I'm starting to piece all my concepts together. After hearing Dr. Constintino's research as well as the many other great speakers that spoke I feel as if my "Film Theory" concept I put forth in "Finding Kansas" is far more important that I ever thought along with the increased importance in my "Cement Theory."
Now I say they are more important and that I am piecing them together because I'm beginning to feel as if there is one or two other concept/pieces that I know are there but I don't know how to describe it and this is where that part of, "not doing enough" comes in. This may be my day off and I may be somewhere on the 13th fairway later... okay... the 13th rough later today but my mind surely will be on how to piece it all together and to come up with the concept that does truly piece all my concepts together.