Today could be a big day as the manuscript for the sequel of "Finding Kansas" might be submitted. Originally the title was going to be, "The Absence of Blue" but now the leading contender is, "I Think Therefore You Should Know."
To say I am nervous about this would be a gigantic understatement as there's no guarantee that it will be picked up. This has consumed me as I wonder if those words I wrote will ever see a shelf and will ever be read.
I know I've made reference to this in the past month, about being down or stressed, and this process has been the leading cause. I've never done well when something is bothering me as when something is, regardless of how big of a thing it actually is, when something is bothering me it becomes the only thing that matters and the only thing my mind can think of. All others events become as if they never were and the only thing that has any relevance at all is whatever it is that is bothering me.
Right now it feels as if I've never been published, have never spoke in public, and have never written a blog despite the fact that I'm writing it this very second. I've always been this way and when a topic or subject was giving me grief in school all others subjects suffered because my mind wasn't on that, it was on whatever it was that was bothering me.
I would say this is a strength as well as a weakness because I am able to find a solution, often times, to a problem because my mind is working on overdrive. However, when there is a problem with no solution and a problem that I can't do anything more to help the cause, well, that's when it is a weakness because my mind will work, ahem, worry away with no let up until I'm tired from worrying for too long.
So that's where I am today. With that being so I think I have to do what I talked about in yesterday's blog and hit the bike trail and try to work this sensation out of my system.