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Thursday, February 7, 2013

Pushed to the Limit

Mark my words! I am never moving again. I can't take it; I can't handle it and if I ever get the itch or urge to move please point me to this blog post.

What's there to hate about moving? "All of it" I think is a very apt answer. There isn't one redeeming quality about it. I mean, there's so much to do, so much change, cable hookups, locksmiths, gas, electric, and I'm sure there are several more elements of this that I don't even know about it yet.

I'm going to stick by my motto; change is bad! But maybe it is this belief that is making the whole ordeal worse. If so would it be possible for the move to be anything but the most awful experience ever? I ask this because right now it is.

This move is wearing on me and it is this wear that I am going to make my point today. Yes, I could write on and on about how awful each small thing is, but you'd probably get bored by about the third paragraph. So, the key thing to take note on about this is this wear concept. When something big is going on or about to happen my mind goes into hyper-focus on it. Slowly it becomes the only thing that matters. With that being so all other aspects of life become effected. Things that were tolerable become problems the sized that only rarely used words like ginormous and behemoth begin to describe them.

When I am pushed to the limit, as I am now, it is hard to understand that anything will get better because, if one thing has me to the wall, everything has me to the wall. There is no middle ground here in that one thing is okay and the other isn't. If one thing crosses the line that is the limit, such as moving, all other small things in life become larger than life itself. This thought cycle keeps going down and down and even further down until really everything seems utterly hopeless.

Thankfully this moving process only has about 48 hours left. Maybe by Sunday there will actually be heat in my place, and all my electronics will be setup, and then maybe these awful emotions about moving and change will be gone and I will be, for the first time ever, at a home of my own.

5 comments:

  1. Aaron we are going to be moving in a few months and Elijah my 10 year old isnt liking the idea of any change especially due to his Aspergers. Do you have ant suggestions on making this as easy as possible for him. We are downsizing so I have already moved him and his younger brother into the same room to prepare him for sharing a bedroom. Do you have other suggestions that will help him with this huge transition, since you understand what its like. I want to make this a smooth transition for him and I know there will be some things he may not handle but I still want to try. Once again thank you for doing this blog it has opened up my eyes wider on ways to help my son.

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    1. This is Jennifer and I work with Aaron at TouchPoint and he asked me to reply to you. My best suggestions to you are to take your son by the new house several times, take lots of pitures of it and create a social story using those pictures predicting for him those things that will be new (house, sharing a room, possibly a new school?,etc.) but also those things that will stay the same (the whole family will be there, he will still have his toys, routines that will be the same, etc.). Talking about it can help but giving visuals to it can be even more helpful. Driving him through the new neighborhood, doing things in that area (going to the park, restaurants, stores, etc.) can also be helpful to familiarize him with the area before the actual move. Really, anything to help him predict what is going to happen can help. Also, be careful to take his lead on just how much you talk about it. Prediction is good but too much can also cause stress and anxiety so present the information, give him some visuals, familiarize him with the area, and then let him know that you can talk and read more if he wishes but don't push it either. Always talk positively about the move as well. Hope this helps at least a little bit!

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    2. This is Jennifer again. Just another thought, allow him some control in this situation. The move is out of his control but you can offer him some choices in the matter. Maybe which side of the room he wants or what color he wants his room to be (I've seen rooms with two walls one color and two walls the other so both kids will be happy), ask him what is important to him to have with him or what he wants to know. Being in a situation where you feel you have no control can be really scary so providing some choices gives him some decision making ability and control.

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    3. Thank you for the input I will definitely use these techniques to help with the transition.

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  2. I never moved even once in my life. My parents spoke about moving when I was little, but I resisted a lot and my parents decided that if we were happy here, we wouldn't move. So I have absolutely no idea what it's like.
    Judging from how badly I handled changing schools, I can imagine me not handling moving well at all though. Since I'll probably be living on my own at some time too, as I'm that age too now, I'm already looking into some guidance for this. There are foundations available that help with this around here. Isn't there something like that there too?

    I feel for you, though, Aaron. I hope it'll get easier soon, but it probably will. In the meanwhile: *hugs*

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