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Friday, April 26, 2013

The Case of the Missing Clicker

I’m now in Albuquerque to work a race but there is only one thing on my mind. It isn’t about the flags, the speed, or even where I am as right now, this very moment, the only thing I am thinking about is the little black hand held clicker that I have currently lost.

                This is more than just the device I move my PowerPoint slides with as it is also my flash drive. I have most of my files on my computer but there were a few that I didn’t have backed up so that too is weighing on my mind.

                Where could it be? This is what I keep asking myself. I used it last at a high school in southwest Missouri so perhaps I left it there. Maybe it fell out of my computer bag at the office yesterday. That is a possibility, but I’m leaning towards the high school and if that is the case did someone find it or was it discarded?

                The timing of this ordeal is odd because just a few presentations ago I was asked, “Aaron, what is it like when you are trying to do something, find something, or something just isn’t right?” I’m at that point now and right now all thoughts are on that device. Clearly the associative memory system is in play right now as that device is more than that to me. I’ve been coast-to-coast with that and it was my first one of those, those, I’m now actually sure the right name for them besides “the black PowerPoint clicky thingy” but right now it’s missing is the only thing on my mind.

                In a way, I feel consumed by this because, for one, I don’t normally misplace things; and most certainly not something as important as this. I keep replaying the end of my presentation in my mind and I’m sure I had it in my hand; “Okay, get the flash drive, put it in the device with the unknown name, and get it back in my bag ASAP because you don’t want to lose it.” That’s on my mind every time; if you’re at one of my presentations take note on how methodical I am at making sure this is one of the first things I do. Yet, since I do this how do I not have possession of this thing?

                So back to the question the parent asked; imagine no matter what you do or what you think there is always this bright red alarm light in the back of your mind flashing. No matter how hard you try to brush it aside, there it is, flashing with the alert that something is wrong, amiss, and out of line.


                Only the future knows what will become of this. I’m off to a race track today and am unable to call to see if I did, in fact, leave it there. Maybe it’s in the lost and found? Then again maybe I took it out of my bag at the office yesterday and there it is, sitting innocently on my desk oblivious of the panic I feel over it. Well, it is an inanimate object so it wouldn’t feel anything as is, but as void as it is of emotions I have a deep sadness as if I’m missing a friend. Hopefully I get a text or e-mail today that says this friend of mine that has been with me for almost 200 presentations is found alive and well.

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