Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Decompression

I'm learning something more about me and that is the need for decompression after major events. If we go back a couple weeks to confusion in the clubhouse it took the whole weekend before I felt whole again and now, after one of the hardest races I've ever worked I'm in the same place of needing time.

It didn't help that it took two days to get home due to delays, and weather, but right now I feel awful; my body aches but beyond that my brain is beyond its limit. This feels exactly what I felt like about halfway through the school year.

Events, situations, and when things go wrong have always bothered me longer than others it has seemed. When mild things happen I can quickly go from it bothering me, to not, but when those major events happen, and the body's response to it, it can take longer. During this time I think the word "fragile" would be an apt word to use as things can and maybe will bother me more. What could have been shrugged off may bother me more.

This needing of decompression is something everyone has, I'm sure, because if anyone had a hectic or even bad day at work, or maybe got into an argument over something, there will be for that evening a shorter fuse than normal. However, using a quote I've used many times that I heard a coworker say, "Autism is human behavior, but to the extreme. It's stuff everyone does, people with autism just do it more."

So that's where I am today; needing to decompress. It didn't help that my journey home took two days, but I made it and when I give my presentation tomorrow I'm sure I'll be on my game, but as for right this second I'm tired, exhausted, and I don't feel like my usual self.

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