For about a as long as I've been flagging racing events I have always wanted to catch the first ride away from the track. This may seem odd because I anxiously await the moment I'm back at the track, but this is due to the fact that once the final checkered flag has flown my job is over and the only thing left is socializing which is something I try to avoid which makes what happened two days ago at the SKUSA Streets of Lancaster odd.
First, I love that event because it is a street race in the BLVD district of Lancaster, California and there are thousands of spectators for the event. There are many more elements but to put simply it's unlike any other event I do in a season. It was a long weekend, though, with back to back 13 hour days on track. Then, on Sunday, it was only eight hours and when finished I could've taken an earlier ride back to the LAX area, but I wanted none of it because I wanted to hang around.
Hang around? Myself? Is this the same blog from five years ago? What was going on? Maybe it has to do with the blog I did a couple weeks ago about the throwback announcers on NBC during the NASCAR race, or realizing the personnel I work with today won't always be around, but I know time is the enemy that creates change and I wanted every second just being in the atmosphere of the track with the people I've worked with for many years.
On the flight home yesterday I have to admit I was brought to tears thinking about the inevitable change that comes with life. On both series I do, USAC .25 and SKUSA, the people I've worked with have become an intricate part of my life. Now here's the thing; there are some out there that believe ALL people with Asperger's are incapable of caring about those around them but that's not the case. Would I be able to admit it on the spot? Probably not, but I'd give about anything to freeze time and go back and work with everyone I've worked with before.
Because of these emotions I felt more than comfortable in this random socializing event after the race with several of the staff, the owner, and one of the city managers. It's not something I would've even been capable of five years ago but two things here; the first shows obvious growth, but within that growth shows that I have a deep caring for those around me. Sure, part of that is that if people I know around me change then there is change and change is bad so there is a hint of self within this but I believe it to be much deeper than that. I've always wondered "whatever happened to that person which..." and at a race when they're there I don't have to wonder that. There's more to this than what I am able to describe, but nonetheless I can't believe I willingly went into a social situation after an event.