Tuesday, September 28, 2010

An Early Morning

Morning came way too soon. It was well past 2AM before I even attempted to sleep. Even now, in my tired state, I am still only thinking about Saturday.

One person asked me, in person, if I still wanted to do this with all the emotions I am currently feeling and I said, "most certainly!". I am used to anxiety when something new is going to happen. Take any new event in my life and the same questions I am asking now apply. How bad will it be? Will I survive? Is it going to be hard? Is it going to hurt? Will people laugh at me? Am I going to be able to do it? May I actually do a halfway decent job at it?

Questions before the fact are pure speculation. Nothing can be gained from them and, well, I know this for a fact and still I speculate. I am used to it, perhaps not on a scale as big as this, but this is a common feeling.

Each new school year I felt this. Each time I was on a new bowling team I felt this. These fears and questions are always here but I don't usually vocalize them. As you can probably tell, by the repetitive type of blog posts, they are quite tiring.

There is only one way to combat this and that's to get my mind active on an activity. This is hard because I am great multi-tasker, but in 40 minutes I will be headed out to go to a doctor's office to talk about TouchPoint and autism.

Who knows what I will blog about tomorrow. I still have a Q & A to answer, "Why are video blogs hard, why is seeing yourself hard, and is looking into the camera hard?" Maybe I'll answer that tomorrow if I don't write a repeat (well, not a repeat. Same concept different words) of today's. Well see. Just four days!


  1. Anxiety is a problem for me, but only on big tests. I usually can't sleep or get sick, do you know what the best way to avoid this is? I really would prefer to stay healthy over getting sick, lately to sleep I've been taking sleep aids that night but sickness I can't end quickly enough. I have a less severe version of Autism (asperger's syndrome) and anxiety is a big problem for me.

  2. Sean Hunter (seanhunter1974@hotmail.com)September 30, 2010 at 11:02 PM

    That video on sept 28 was great. You're awesome!!! i'm 36 and have aspergers and ur an inspiration. you are obviously intelligent. and as for having senior moments...don't worry. what you should do is tune out those people the millions..and basically not give a crap because ur irish (even if ur not ) lol and basically say whats on ur mind as long as it's not racist, sexist, homophobic, hurtful or like mean...but otherwise...being funny and a little crude is NOT a terrible thing :) peace