Tuesday, February 5, 2013

An Improbable Event

Yesterday was a huge day for me. Yes, I turned 30 but there was also another major milestone that I forgot to write about yesterday and that is the fact that, yesterday afternoon, I signed the papers and became a homeowner.

I think back to where I was eight years ago, heck, just four years ago and the idea of being able to buy a place was so improbable that it was almost laughable. Of course, so was the concept of being a public speaker so it's amazing how times can change.

The next several days are going to be filled with so many emotions. Moves are difficult for me and already I've taken two car loads of stuff over. There's so much more to be done as well as the movers coming to take the big stuff on Saturday But in it all the movement of items is so difficult. The room I have been in the most is starting to thin out. My computer, racing chair, and television are still there but behind my chair are more boxes than I'd like to see. Slowly the house I've been in will lose it's shape, or rather the shape I had given it and it will be nothing but empty walls and this concept saddens me.

I've been where I am for 16 months and it was the first place I ever lived in alone. During those 16 months I think I spent more time out of town than actually in it, but nonetheless the place, the neighborhood, and all things associated it with will always be remembered. It hurts so much to be leaving it.

As I packed many of my clothes yesterday I kept my brain numb. I packed at a fever pitch to try and push through any emotions I may have felt. It felt as if it were only yesterday that I was putting my clothes into this place and now I'm in the process of vacating it.

I'm sure this won't be the last word on the matter, but writing about it anymore, today, is just a little too difficult so I will leave this at that and just say that the next four days are not going to be all that enjoyable for me despite the fact that I should feel some sense of accomplishment.

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