Friday, May 29, 2015

Dance of the Fingers

This originally ran June 23, 2010:

At times I will get an uncontrollable urge. The feeling is such that the only way to release the urge is to give into the urge. My body will be in a frenzy up until I give in. No, this urge isn't something evil or involves drinking something, but rather it's a dance, a dance with my fingers.

I have been dancing with the fingers since I was about six years old. I don't know how I got started and the origin isn't important. 21 years of practice and I've gotten rather good at the dance.

As much as I need the dance I am often embarrassed by it. When I do it in public, or around someone else, I often will look around and make sure no one saw me. Often times I can overcome the urge, but sometimes I can't. Rob, who you read about in the "International Event" entry, saw this and the look of confusion on his face was about as priceless as the look of "uh oh, I've been spotted" on my face.

What is this dance? I came up with the "Dance of the fingers" just now as I couldn't come up with anything better. It isn't a new hit dance show on ABC though, but rather is my nifty name for finger flapping.

My dance involves me taking both of my hands and bringing them up to my chin and cheeks. Once this is done, in a rapid fashion, I move all my fingers, except my thumbs which are interlocked inside both hands, up and down.

For me, the dance is a release. What usually precipitates this is when I get excited or happy about something. Sometimes this will occur with what will appear to be zero outside assistance. I could be sitting, alone, with no electronics on just as alone as could be, but if I start thinking about something and get just a bit anxious or excited about something the dance will commence.

The dance may last anywhere from half-a -second to 10 seconds and usually the dance will end with one sudden body jerk or maybe just a single shoulder jerk. It is as close to involuntary as any other movement could be.

To fight it off is to require every ounce of will power in my body. I'm not kidding when I say every ounce! I don't want to be 'caught in the act' because I know it's not something that looks normal. I also don't want to explain it to people because unless you know this feeling my words won't mean anything to you.

I may be able to quell the urge most the time, but there will be times when this dance will be spotted. If done so I can only hope that the other person has viewed this blog because spoken words fail me in situations like that and I quite simply don't want to explain it. So, as one popular pop song says, and I will anytime I get excited or anxious about something, "Just Dance".

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