There are times my tone of voice
may sound a bit angry, or downright rude and yesterday had one of these events.
The thing about these events is that I’m not intending on coming across as rude
or angry, but the level of frustration I feel inside brings it about so here’s
what happened…
I walked into my bank to make a
deposit as I had several checks from the races I’ve worked the past month that
needed deposited. I approached the teller and gave here the deposit slip and
the checks. She started doing the inputting and then she asked a question I
didn’t understand, “Sir, have you deposited these checks before?” I stared at
here blankly as I couldn’t understand what it was, exactly, she was wanting
because surely she wasn’t thinking I was trying to double deposit checks.
A few awkward seconds passed and
she asked again, “Have you deposited these checks before?” The panic of
processing was setting in as I was trying to come up with a reason as to why I
was being asked this. Was I under suspicion? What for? Check fraud? Identity
theft? I tried to muster up a great question and all I could ask was, “What?”
After I asked that I thought to myself, “really, Aaron, that’s all you could
come up with?”
For a third time she asked, and
this time in a much slower tone, “Have you deposited these… checks… before?” My
level of frustration grew to a level that internally I was raging at myself and I exclaimed in what sounded
to be the rudest of tones, “I don’t know what that means!”
As soon as I said it I realized my
tone was nasty but I wasn’t trying to be nasty towards her but I was so angry
at myself. I didn’t know what she wanted and I figured she knew I was confused
because since I knew it she surely knew it. The “I think therefore you should
know” system was running wild but again, I didn’t know what she wanted. She
then replied, “Have you ever deposited checks from these companies before?” Now
it made much more sense. Perhaps the initial question she asked hinted towards
that and maybe some would pick up on that but I have a hard time filling in the
blanks. I couldn’t simply understand the first question and being able to ask, “What
does that mean?” right off the bat isn’t my strong suit. It probably should be
because the ire I felt towards myself wouldn’t have occurred and I probably
wouldn’t have come off as a complete jerk, but processing is something I try
and hide. I don’t want others to know that I don’t understand something. It’s
okay to, though, isn’t it? Everyone needs some clarification at some point in
time, but asking for that help is, at the time, more difficult than trying to
figure out what is going on, but in the end it often leaves with two people
that are frustrated and angry and both are angry at the same person.