Masked Communications

I may be almost two years late to this conversation, but I haven't written in two years so I haven't been as observant in behaviors to notice. However, while flying back from the race near Miami I did notice just how much I rely on nonverbal communications.

This is truly weird for me because I can be so inept on reading people. I miss cues, and I often see a smile as one would see an angry face. I can be so far off and yet I've gotten rather resilient at sending out facial signals that often quell a social situation or appeases what the situation calls for.

This has changed, though, hasn't it? What I meant by saying I was two years late refers to the masks that are now often worn. Whether you believe in them or not is a moot point on this blog because if you want to fly you best have your mask on and while boarding the plane Monday morning and the flight attendant greeted me while entering the plane I gave my awkward upward head swoop and sort of smiled. I've come to learn that the quick smile I give is typically enough to spare me from having to say anything aloud. Also, I may move my lips slightly to emulate speaking with no noise being made. This could lead the person to think I said something and they just didn't hear it. 

My goal in random public is to be a chameleon and be invisible. I want to avoid random social encounters and each movement I take while walking is trying to keep the avoidance as strong as possible. I've learned all the moves I need to pull off to keep this bubble of isolation intact, but I just didn't realize howe much I relied on the minute facial expressions to keep it all functioning.

The flight attendant wasn't mean about it, well, not exactly but I did the swoop and did the silent lip movement of "good morning" as they said it to be, but I wasn't consciously aware of the fact that they couldn't see my lips. When I got to the first seats in the place, I heard a "well, good morning to you too!". It seemed a bit redundant as they had already told me that and I had to think back on what I could've possibly messed up socially. 

I traced back the one to two second encounter and thought of every possible scenario that would've gotten that slight hint of snark so early in the morning. I played it back, "they said good morning and I mouthed it and raised my eyebrows ever so slightly and... and... OH! She didn't know I mouthed it!" 

Another odd thing is that, when it comes to mistakes like this, I'm destined to make the same mistake over and over and over again until I have one of these moments. I don't have a strong ability to see things from another person's line of sight or viewpoint. Another one of my sayings is, "I think therefore you should know" which would apply to this situation of "I know I mouthed good morning so she would to."

I wonder how many errors I've made these past two years in thinking another person can see my face when they couldn't. The lack of a two-way street here is frustrating for me and I'm sure it's frustrating for others to understand the following logic: I know I can't see another person's face behind the mask so if their lips are moving, I know I can't see them. On the flip side, since I know what my face looks like and I know what I'm doing with my lips and if they moved or not means the other person does as well."

Now that I identified this, I'll be curious to see if I can alter the outcomes a bit and not be so rude unknowingly. I do plan on writing on this topic more and the next time I'm in a place that requires that little bit of random social interaction I hope it's blog worthy to note further on another example of the lack of a well-made two-way street.