The Names of the Past

Jet lag has hit, and it’s hit hard. Getting up at 2AM and being unable to go back to sleep is the cost of international travel, and as I’ve been unable to sleep I’ve been going through my friend’s list on the Xbox and that spurred me on to look up people that weren’t on my friend’s list but I remember. 

It’s a rabbit hole, isn’t it? The people of the past, for me, creates a sense of dizziness that is simply overwhelming. What happened to them? This is a question I ask about someone that I remember racing on ToCA Race Driver 3 but haven’t talked to since 2005. It’s… it’s unique. 

I laugh when I think of the misnomer, “people with Asperger’s don’t care about others.” I do care. The amount of emotions this trek down memory lane has conjured up tells me I do. Would I say something vocal to someone? Oh, most certainly not, but the almost mourning I’ve done for people I’ve never met and were just a screename to me is, well, it’s emotional. 

Perhaps this is just the jet lag talking. I’d like to say so, but I know otherwise. I wish I would’ve done better at keeping track of the people I used to race with. The people that could be anyone and anywhere now. Maybe I have met some and didn’t know it, but it’s the infinite questions that spawn more questions that leaves a tired person wondering.